Friday, June 25, 2010

Soo much going on




Sorry for so long between post but there has been a lot going on. My final results came back from the Navy and the VA. So now just waiting for the big Navy to back and say if they approve my retirement date or not. Was told I have between 30 and 90days to be out. I requested the 90, but due to some things could be out in next month. Nothing like trying to make decisions based on if's. So far when everyone asks me what I am going to do when I get out I tell them I am going camping. The pics are of where I plan on going to. The first one is of the lake itself and the second one is of the beaver ponds that the runoff from the lake feed into. The lake is called Chihuahua lake and is in Colorado at an elevation 12,157 ft. I can't wait to get out there and relax.

Today I started a neurofeedback again. It in conjunction with Heart-rate-variability and some new supplements that one of my Docs suggested have shown to recover memories in others. Today was quite a challenge. I have a fear of women and children. Doc's assistant is a very petite female. Talk about facing fears. Plus with my fear of touch and having to have her apply electrodes to my head it was quite a challenge. All afternoon and evening I have felt like someone or something has been messing with my head. It is almost like the feeling you get when you have a bug land on you and then keep getting the feeling for a while afterwards. Even sitting here typing every so often it feels like someone is touching my head. It gets to be rather annoying!!!!! On Thursday at group we were discussing exposure therapy. I guess in a way I am definitely doing that with this treatment.

Sally has been doing outstanding!!!! Wednesday her and I went out to a piece of property that we were invited to and walked around. I let her off leash and let her run for a while. It was really a good break for both of us. For her it was a chance to just run and run. Especially when she started to notice the grasshoppers. She would see one take off and fly and would chase it. Then when it would land she would go over and pounce where it landed. The hopper would then take off again and she would go after it again. This continued until she pounced into a group of 15-20 of them. They all took off and left her standing there staring at all of them trying to figure out which one to chase. For me it was a chance to realize the no matter how stressful life is if you take a chance to look at nature it will give you something new to chase after and leave you laughing. Eventually the heat got to be too much for both of us and we headed back to the truck, got something to drink and headed back for the house. It was a really nice break for both of us. I had forgotten how a nice walk in an open field could take your mind off of the reality that feels like it is suffocating you. I think we may make this a regular trip, at least once a week if not more. I know that the chasing of butterflies was the reason that Sally didn't become a mobility dog but I think in a grander plan she was meant to have this habit to allow me to laugh even when I don't feel like it. Next time I will have to take out my camera and try and get some pictures of her. I could tell that she was having fun due to her smile. For those of you that have met Sally you will know what I am talking about with her expressions.

Next month Sarah is to meet with my daughters and my ex-wife. After this meeting I should have a better idea of what is going on after I get out. I have 2 offers and am waiting for this meeting to decide which one to pursue. One is here in NC and the other is in MT. Both are incredible. I think either I could handle. Just waiting for more information to make a final decision. I am leaning towards one more that the other but still considering both. I will write more about these as my decision comes closer.
I guess that is it for now. I will try and start keeping up on this more so I am not bouncing topics so much. LATE!!